Enjoying sexual relationships is an important part of life for most people. There are a few things worth considering when you are thinking about having sex for the first time, or for the first time with a new partner.
You can start by asking yourself if you actually want to have sex. For it to be a positive experience, both of you should feel happy with how far you take your relationship. If either you or your partner is feeling pressured or forced into having sex, then that’s just not right. It can even be illegal in some cases.
It really helps to make sure there are no misunderstandings and that you are both happy by simply talking about it before you have sex. If you are worried, you should be able to let your partner know. If you can’t or are too embarrassed to talk, then ask yourself if you’re really ready and if this is the right partner to have sex with?
Listen to your partner, as they may have worries and concerns similar to your own. And if the decision is not to have sex at this time, there are other ways to give each other pleasure such as touching, kissing or stroking.
Most important thing to remember is that when you become sexually active it should be enjoyable and fun!
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Being responsible?
In every relationship you have rights and responsibilities – everyone has the right to say NO to sex at any time. While you have a responsibility to take care of yourself, you have a responsibility to look after your partner too.
Think carefully before you have sex for the first time and whether it is right for you. There are many people out there who regret having sex too young or for the wrong reasons. If you decide you are ready for sex then enjoy safer sex by making sure you always use a condom to protect against unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
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Legally aware?
If you or your partner is younger than 16, there are laws you should be aware of. It is illegal to have sex under the age of 16 in Scotland. Why? In this country, it is considered that people are not ready to have sex until they are 16.
If you are under 16, you can still get free, confidential advice about sex, condoms, contraception and preganancy at any time, so visit Caledonia Youth to find out more.
Taking risks?
You can be more at risk of unsafe, unprotected sex if you are drunk or on drugs. Both are strongly linked to risk taking behaviour, as they can alter the decisions you make - sadly these are often decisions that leave people with regrets about having sex and other things.
But what are the risks? If you’re under the influence, you might forget to wear a condom or not use contraceptives properly, so you could catch or pass on a sexually transmitted infection (STI) even if there are no symptoms.
There is also the chance of an unplanned pregnancy. Someone who is using the contraceptive pill might forget to take it when they should or be sick through drink or drugs, reducing or wiping out protection against pregnancy.
If you have had unprotected sex, speak with someone at Caledonia Youth or your local sexual health service to discuss any concerns in confidence. We can also talk with you about reliable, free contraception, emergency contraception and condoms.
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