Self esteem is all about how much you like, accept and respect yourself as a person – it’s not about what anyone else thinks of you or how they feel about you, although this can affect it.
Having good self esteem is just as important to feeling happy, as it is to having healthy relationships. It helps to remember though that our self esteem changes throughout the day. What we feel like when we wake up can change considerably as the day develops.
If you have high self esteem, you may:
- Have a good opinion of yourself
- Feel confident
- Feel good about yourself
- Feel in control of your life
- Feel liked or loved
- Feel happy with how you look
If you have low self esteem, you may:
- Have a low opinion of yourself
- Feel shy and quiet
- Not feel good about yourself
- Not feel in control of your life
- Not feel liked or loved
- Not feel happy with the way you look
Check it out:
What can affect your self esteem?
Many things can affect how you feel about yourself like:
- Relationships - with your family, friends, partners, teachers, workmates and everyone else around us
- How others treat you
- Hormones
- School, work or if your unemployed
- Weight or height
- Media images
- Weather
- Housing
- Money
- Shopping
- …and more as the list is almost endless!
Although some of these can build up over time and lower our self esteem, at the same time they can become more positives and improve our self esteem.
Ways to improve your self esteem
Make a changeYou can affect someone’s self esteem by what you do or say to them. In turn, this can affect your own self esteem. For instance, simply saying “HI” to someone may raise their self esteem as well as you own! Go on, try it!
Music
You may have a song, an album or a favourite singer or group that helps to raise your mood.
Exercise
A game of footie, a trip on your bike or another form of exercise can help clear your head.
Fresh Air
Even a walk can be refreshing and give you time and space to think.
Talk about it
Family members, friends or professionals, like our own Caledonia Youth team, can help you talk through any problems or just give you the time to speak and hear what you have to say.
Write it down
Many people keep a diary or a little note pad to write things down – it helps to get thought out of your head. By reading over the notes later, it may help you look at your life in a different light.
Focal points
You may have some photos or postcards that remind you of a happier time or a positive experience in your life. When you look at them, they cheer you up or put you in a more positive frame of mind.
Chill
Relaxation and breathing exercises can help take your mind off things and clear your head of negative thoughts.
Positive thoughts
All too often we dwell upon the negatives. So why not try focusing on your positive qualities and things that you are good at? Begin by writing down ten positives about yourself. Although it may appear hard to do, stick at it and try not to say to yourself, “I can’t think of any”!
Plan of action
There are loads of things that we can do to help ourselves feel better. Try and find the right one for you!
Ways to support others with low self esteem
- Listen to people around you - actually make the time to actively listen
- Encourage - give praise and encourage, whenever the situation arises
- Empathise - identifying with someone
- Accept - be non-judgemental
- Give - your time
- Be realistic
- Be supportive
At Caledonia Youth, our counsellors can help if you have any issues surrounding self esteem.
Check it out:
Calculate your self esteem
Our quick quiz points out some of the ways that self esteem can affect you. There are no right or wrong answers and remember, self esteem can change by the day, hour and even by the minute - the results you come up with now may be different if you do the quiz again in a day or so!
All you have to do is answer each of these questions as honestly as you can in relation to how you feel right now. Take a note of your responses and depending on whether you have scored mostly Rarely, Sometimes or Often, read the matching answer to find out what this tells you about your self esteem today.
1. Do you skip new things such as a work or school trip or a sporting occasion, even if it sounds a good laugh?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
2. Do you think that everything you do has to be perfect or it’s not good enough?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
3. Do you beat yourself up or feel down when you make a mistake?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
4. Do you worry about being talked about or left out?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
5. Do you find it hard to believe it when someone compliments you?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
6. Do you get yourself into risky situations because it’s hard to disagree with your friends?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
7. Do you worry a lot about how you look?
Rarely, Sometimes or Often
Mostly Rarely
You have a high level of self esteem. You already believe in yourself, you know how to make decisions and have the confidence to stick up for yourself. You would be great at helping someone with low self esteem.
Check it out:Mostly Sometimes
It’s OK! For the moment you may be a little low but we have some suggestions that may increase your self esteem and confidence.
Check it out:Mostly Often
Don’t worry! For the moment you may be in a low place but we have some suggestions that may increase your self esteem and confidence.
Check it out: